Standard

 I’m crawling on the ocean floor

Drowning in thoughts my words are lost

Asking questions I know the answers to

Making sure I don’t get hurt

Growing accustomed to that pain

A standard of rain begat disdain

Questioned sequestered feelings lost

In the maze of despair 

I’m tired of the standard affair

Wishing for ways to mend this pair

Tattered and battered begotten despair

Forever for this forlorn mare 

Has thought lived past the melody

A standard song, it seems to be

Rife with facts that held on to me

Like a prisoners last decree

Years gone by and years grown long

Everything ever thought was wrong

Fraught by lovers lasting prong

How do they grow so strong

She’s A Black Whole

 Lost her parents at a young age

Now she’s missing a page

Doesn’t want to settle down

Monogamy is another word for frown

Have you been to her abode

All those remnants of her road

Down the sadness spirals forth

All those millions, what’s it worth

Shes lost to this black hole

Treasured bride, forgotten goal

The world is wide and winters cold

Now she is swallowed whole

Let her go it is her choice

In the future you’ll rejoice

Rush To

Exploding with Venn diagrams

Mixing worlds my minds a scam

Racing to tame the rush in my brain 

I’m only human I’ve been crying again 

Feels like forever it’s been two weeks

Emotions run amok, 

Hits like a truck

Adding together thoughts with no sleep

I lost you, I miss you

Can’t bare to dream

Lying to myself

I just want to scream

This is the hard part

I’m struggling so bad

It’s been a long time 

since I’ve been this mad 

Push, pull, push, pull

Rush out the door

Fight for your life

 til the light is in sight

End the cold night 

causing pain and plight

Brain moving like a Venn diagram

Missing the Center

Roses

 

We abstain from social distance

Mask wear, risk unknown

The world is greatly divided, us

Greatly distanced sepia tone

Undecided decide too much

Waves like ripples in a pond

Come for the ocean across country

Fate flicker tip of waving wand

I’m fond for flowers, fearful future

Risks caught up full speed ahead

Trudging life well oiled machine

Dotted crimson clouds, blood that’s bled

Making waves, dashing dream to dream

Still don’t know what it means - and it feels

Like thousand islands stuck between

Buying roses memories such good meals

And music flows forth forgiving worth

Reality sinks in do I take the shot or what

Forced into a corner, can’t say much more

Thought it was nice then got really hot

And so I plot my last goodbye

How’d we get so high in little time

Lacking funds cause fortune spent

Flipping choices one last dime

Nothing looks as good as these roses

And smell as good as you

Sometimes I cling to random straws

Hoping to renew

There is no vase to fit the flowers

That I would have bought

Trace the day it goes away

Lesson learned battles fought

Has my indie bottled breath really made a stir

There’s a light I think it’s hope 

Roses blooming in the dirt

Fuck it.. let’s elope

Paranoid Mess

 I’m so used to people using me

Tied up and left to starve

My heart yearns for freedom

While everyone secretly lies

Building relationships is so hard

When you’re the only one with tools

Finding out how someone ticks

Used to be laden with jewels

I’ve never felt completely safe

Where no one could knock me down

If I have it would I know

If I don’t would I know

Why does it matter why do I care

It causes such crazy emotion

My brain won’t stop my body aches

Is it me who’s causing commotion

Where in the world will I feel

Trust that won’t be altered

Does it exist at all anyway

And if it’s a myth then what

If it’s a myth I’ve been lied to

By everyone over and over 

That thinks I’m great so what

Hand me a four leaf clover

Maybe with luck I’ll find it one day

Growing on lovers graveyard plot

As I myself am stuck on the earth

Wandering as a ghost

Just can’t leave this grass covered rock

So much to know I don’t know

If happiness is in front of me, then

I’m not paying attention to the show

You are what you make, I’ve made it so far

Troubled past won’t hold me back

Yet deep down I’m aware of too much

Stacking hurt in dark rooms

It comes up every now and again

To ruin decisions I’ve made 

Climbing mountains, well maintained

What good’s advice when it’s paid 

Falling Again

 Here I sit, down by the quay

Come take a seat and hear my plea.

I’m lost at sea

So hard to be…

Since you set me free

Not sure where to go

Getting hard to bare 

Mind melts, lost in memories

Smile and I will stare 

Up above the world

Refusing to look down

Wandering through you

Within this quiet town

We’ve been here once before

Many years ago

We’re searching yet again for

A sturdy place to grow

My hearts amiss

Needs a kiss

Craves your bliss..

Your heart is in pieces

Surrounded by diseases

I wanna seize it

Size it

Build a wall around it

Stitch you up and

Stretch you out

Table, floor, 

More and more

On this roundabout.

Go in circles

Dusk til dawn

How’d we do it

Lines are drawn

Love forever

Sunset strong